Nikola Tesla |



Tesla, seen here flirting with you.
Celibate, yet surprisingly doable.

Nikola Tesla came to America from Croatia (but was ethnically Serbian) with four pennies, a few poems and a blueprint for a flying machine (that was never built) in 1884. However, by 1900, he just about single-handedly renovated technology that used the power of electricity for domestic use and invented things such as electrical generators, FM radio, remote control, robots, spark plugs and fluorescent lights. Tesla also invented the “Tesla Coil” which is still used in TV and radio transmissions. He claimed to have built a “death ray” that could blow things up (cool) and people believe that he may have been responsible for the 1908 Tunguska Event.

This explosion was about 1,000 times more powerful than the bomb dropped on Hiroshima. 

He was celibate, afraid of round things and hated human hair, jewelry and anything that wasn’t divisible by three. In other words, he was a mad scientist. Tesla was the first to harness the power of Niagara Falls into a hydroelectric power plant constructed a bath designed to cleanse the human body of germs using nothing but electricity, and created a 130-foot long bolt of lightning from one of his massive coils (remains the world record for man-made lightning). 
Before he died of heart failure in 1943, he claimed to be working on a death ray that could melt stuff, and after he died, J. Edgar Hoover and the FBI took all of his personal stuff from fear of someone building the machines (we don’t blame them). However, most of the blueprints were stored up in Tesla’s brain. 

Tesla was a brilliant man. Didn’t know he was afraid of round things. I guess he would have been one of those guys that said that the earth was not perfectly round.


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